…but don’t give away my alligator soup

 

Dennis Lee, Canadian poet : ”Alligator Pie”; (1974):

Alligator pie, alligator pie,
If I don’t get some I think I’m gonna die.
Give away the green grass, give away the sky,
But don’t give away my alligator pie.

Alligator stew, alligator stew,
If I don’t get some I don’t know what I’ll do.
Give away my furry hat, give away my shoe,
But don’t give away my alligator stew.

Alligator soup, alligator soup,
If I don’t get some I think I’m gonna droop.
Give away my hockey stick, give away my hoop,
But don’t give away my alligator soup.

Foto Friday – indah rupa dari khabar

Looking at this picture, I can almost feel the calm and peace that a misty morning entails. The whispery sound of the waves during the low tide. The coolness of the morning breeze that would’ve given me a chill if not for the warmth of the rising sun. Well actually, in this case, the sun had risen. I missed it. Terlambat sampai ke lokasi…

Anywho, like I said, “looking at this picture”. In actual fact, there were scores of tourists behind me waiting for their respective boats to go island hopping. Further on to the left, there is a jetty with more people waiting. The morning was far from quiet, I tell ya! Speedboat engines roaring, tour operators hollering for their respective groups… aiyah… tak peaceful langsung!

The serenity is here, right here in my living room… where my imagination does a better job interpreting the picture. Just the way I like it =)

Have a good weekend y’all!

Tipah tak mau tertipu

There’s some sort of a pyramid scheme going on in FB. It goes something like “Jana RM100 sehari hanya dengan login facebook”. Sounds very dubious to me. I’ve always believed that there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Or easy money, in this case.

A friend put this in her status :- “Alhamdulillah..akhirnya dapat juga aku tau cara macam mana boleh generate RM100 sehari dengan hanya log in Facebook jer.. hehehehe meh la kengkawan join.=) thanx sifu! budimu tak akan aku lupakan”

A few minutes later she prompted me for a chat and as I had suspected, she started promoting this scheme to me. Katanya senang je… This is our exact conversation.

8:57pm Friend – hi

9:01pm Me – hi f***e

9:02pm Friend – wat pe

9:02pm Me – sorry lmbt jawab… anak saya tgh main ikan hahaha

9:02pm Friend – mlm mlm main ikan mende

9:03pm Me – fishville lah! =)

9:03pm Friend – ooo jom join generate 100 per day in fb

9:03pm Me – betul ke ? mcm tak caya je hehe

9:04pm Friend – my friend yg promote. lecturer kat putrajaya K****I tu

9:04pm Me – how does it work?

9:04pm Friend – tak caya meh la try

9:04pm Me – nak tau dulu how it works, takkan nak join buta2 je hehehe

9:06pm Friend – just bank in to my ac 100 then u promote kat fb ur status. then ur friend will be interested. find only 4 person to join under u then u just give feedback at your fb.

9:07pm Me – mcm pyramid scheme jek

9:07pm Friend – no laah

9:08pm Me – bagi feedback tu cemana?

9:09pm Friend – mcm k****i tu citer…everyday increases.

9:10pm Me – awak dah ada berapa org downline?

9:10pm Friend – 4 la so far…

9:10pm Me – so hari2 dapat RM100?

9:12pm Friend – so far 4 person 400 only ma.

9:13pm Me – hari2 dpt rm400? downline awak kena deposit duit kat awak hari2 ke?

9:13pm Friend – ye ar

9:13pm Me – tu yg saya tak paham…

9:14pm Friend – nanti bc kat inbox ar

9:14pm Me – ni sejibik pyramid scheme ni… kalau takde downline takde income. kalau downline tak dpt downline, kite takde income la betukl tak?

9:15pm Friend – ntah le…tp u baca dulu ar

9:15pm Me – f***e… ni bangsa buat duit atas angin ni f***e. tak tangible

9:15pm Friend – lecturer yg promote tu maa

9:16pm Me – it’s like ambik duit org tapi kite tak bagi apa2 in return. kite cuma suruh die tambah downline je. just because die lecturer tak bermakna die buat benda yg betul. saya nasihat je… sbb takut duit cenggini tak berkat

9:17pm Friend – tak la…tapi drp online kat facebook kosong baik kita buat bisness online

9:17pm Me – byk option biz online f***e…ni bukan bisnes. ni mintak duit org, pastu suruh org tu recover balik dui ttu kat org lain. it’s like saya amik duit awak pastu suruh awak pi mintak kat jiran saya ganti balik duit tu

9:19pm Friend – ye byk gek sy bisness. tusyen ada buat. jual penapis air bio aura hai o. nak beli tak hehhe

9:19pm Me – hahahaha! lawak la awak ni…haa tu baru betul bisnes. ada akad… tukar ganti

9:19pm Friend – nape ketawa pulak. tengah bisness la ni

9:20pm Me – saya dah ada penapis air hehehe

9:20pm Friend – ooo ok.

9:20pm Me – awak toksah buat dah la piramid skim tu ek? saya nasihat ikhlas…

9:21pm Friend – ok

9:21pm Me – =) dah dinner ke? saya lum lagi ni.. baru balik kedai…

9:22pm Friend – dahhh diet kena dinner b4 8

9:22pm Me – waa… azam taun baru ka?

9:22pm Friend – ye

9:22pm Me – good 4u

9:22pm Friend – ok la nak offline la

9:23pm Me – ok take care… jgn marah ye?

9:32pm Friend is offline.

 

I think she’s upset with me larr….

Bual kosong

Dah lama tak update blog yang sebenar2 update. Setakat tampal2 gambar/video je lately ni. Takde mood… nothing to babble about pun… But just for the sake of updating *sambil kibas2 sawang*, I’m just going to type whatever comes to mind…

1. Sejak balik holiday from Langkawi last Monday, I have become lazy. There’s still have some leftover holiday mood in me, I guess. Rasa nak lepak je manjang dari pagi ke petang… Nak masak pun malas, which resulted in me cooking the simplest meals like bihun sup, or nasi lemak…
2. That trip to Langkawi was probably one of the best holidays I’ve had since I can’t remember when. Largely due to great weather… both on the island and in my head heheh! Takde awan itam this time! At least, not the dark, threatening storm clouds… kalau sikit2 yang fleeting2 tu, that I’m pretty much used to already.
3. If you have young kids, don’t let them wear Crocs shoes. Did you read about the boy who broke his toes when the escalator ’sucked’ his shoe? This happened at OU. Incidentally, the same thing happened to my 4-year-old nephew just a few weeks earlier. He was lucky though, cause my sis-in-law (yang memang semangat badannya hehehe) dengan sekuat hati pulled him away sampai putus kasut Crocs yang tak kurang mahalnya tu. He got away with just a nasty blue black ankle, which is still 100 times better than patah tulang. The next day, terus his mom dumped kasut Crocs them adik-beradik (he has a 2yo brother) and bought Clarks instead. Sheesh! I’d just settle for Bata if it was me. Kalau 2 orang dekat RM300 gak tu habis beli kasut je…gulp!
4. Masa kat Langkawi, I came across a store selling imitation handbags at a fraction of the original price. These are quality imitations… from Korea, nampak sejibik mcm ori. Beg LV yg ribu2 RM tu cost only RM230. Tempted nak beli, especially since it’s the latest design. But pecaya tak what The Vampire said? “Are you going to be satisfied wearing imitation goods? Baik beli yg original”. Suami akukah itu yang berkata2?? Thing is, tunggu yang ori pun tak beli2 jugak…kwang kwang kwang…
5. Well, truth be told, he did take me to Pavillion some weeks ago asking me to choose a handbag… masuk Burberry, Coach, Ferragamo and ntah hapa2 lagi store yang nama pelik2. In the end I finally admitted that since he wants to splash, I’d rather have something else rather than a handbag. He asked what I wanted and bunyi tone nya tu macam the deal is sealed so I gleefully said, “lens!”. He asked how much… “err…slightly more than the handbag but at least can use ez-pay”, I said dengan penuh harap. “Bukan you dah banyak lens ke?”. “I want this particular one to replace my crappy kit lens which I’m going to sell when I get this one…bla bla bla pok pek pok pek”… but I think I had already lost him way back at “lens”… menci!
6. I went through some pics I shot mid last year of my family to select ones I want to print in an album. Can’t believe how much my kids grew in the span of 7 months! I was still able to carry and spin Hassan in May last year but can’t even lift him now. When they sleep, I especially notice how much longer they are now.

Vampire ku dah balik! Bye!

Pergi…

Bismillah…

Masa form 2 dulu, a friend gave me a piece of flyer of sort… a simple black and white print out folded in three. It had the name Allah in the title tapi tak ingat dah the exact title. Upon seeing the name Allah on the front, I immediately took the flyer cause I wanted to read the full article. Nak tambah ilmu agama. I read the whole article written with tiny fonts and split into 3 columns landscape-wise. I agreed with what was written right from the very beginning. Everything sounded so right and true, very Islam lah boleh dikatakan. Takde yang bercanggah.

And then, only on the very last paragraph was the true intention of the flyer revealed. “Percayalah kepada Isa Al-Masih…” and “…Isa Al-Masih adalah anak Allah”. Tersentap sekejap… I was 14 so naturally, being young and naive, I got confused. This despite all the pelajaran agama kat sekolah stressing on the oneness of Allah and that “He begetteth not nor was He begotten”.

Alhamdulillah, despite the confusion, I was pretty much on firm ground and I knew eventually what it was I was dealing with. But just imagine, if it happened to me, it must’ve happened to so many others. More than I can imagine, I’m sure. And to think that the girl who gave me the flyer was of the same faith as me.

2005 – I was browsing in a flea market in Amsterdam when an elderly couple approached me. They happened to be Indonesians residing in Amsterdam. We started to chat. They spoke Indon, I spoke Malay. The man started preaching to me about the greatness of Allah and I agreed with him not realising that he meant it from the perspective of a Christian and me, a Muslim. He gave me a booklet which I took back to my hotel room to read. Dah baca baru sedar… pendakwah kristian rupanya diorang tu.

So where am I going with these stories? My point here is, if we allow them to use Allah in their publications, it’s like giving them the advantage of putting one foot in the door. In both cases that I just related to you, I opened up because I had the impression that they were helping me get to know my religion better. They used the word Allah. So I took their flyer to read. To me, that is one foot in the door for them.

I believe that just as we are very keen on dakwah and getting people of other faith to embrace Islam, so are they to their faith.

Cuba bayangkan, would you like it if you see “Isa anak Allah” boldly written for all to see? Imagine a small child, say 5 years old, yang baru belajar membaca. She will slowly spell it out and read it and before you know it, it gets ingrained in her mind that that fact is true. From as young as 5! Then bila dah besar she will seek out the road that leads to this belief that she has had since she was 5.

So to me, it’s okay to be open minded, berfikiran terbuka etc. but biarlah berpada-pada. It’s good that we are tolerant but don’t overdo it to the point that we are risking the aqidah of our fellow, less than informed, muslims. Especially the younger generations.

Just my 2 cents.

Not quite out of it but am getting there

@#&$*(@*&$

I am scared. So effing scared. For reasons I wish not to share with anybody. Because I’m pretty sure other people with find the reasons ridiculous, blown-out-of-proportion, irrational, dan yang sewaktu dengannya.

Been stuck with this crappy feeling for a week now. Been feeling sickeningly worried and scared.

What is this shell of hell that I’m in??

How do I get out?

Is there even a way out?

How much more of this can I take?

*LOUD sigh*

 

….rasa nak makan satay….

This one’s for Gayah

This is for all you girls about 13
High school can be so rough can be so mean
Hold on to, onto your innocence
Stand your ground when everybody’s giving in

This one’s for the girls

This is for all you girls about 25
In a little apartment just trying to get by
Living on, on dreams and spaghetti-o’s
Wondering where your life is gonna go

This one’s for the girls
Who’ve ever had a broken heart
Who’ve wished upon a shooting star
You’re beautiful the way you are
This one’s for the girls
Who loved without holding back
Who dreamed with everything they had
All around the world
This one’s for the girls

This is for all you girls about 42
Tossing pennies into the fountain of youth
Every laugh, laugh line on your face
Made you who you are today

Yeah we’re all the same inside
From 1 to 99

Ugly me

I think, somewhere in my being, in a little crooked nook hidden in a crooked corner, there’s a crooked part of me that refuses to let me feel good about myself without guilt being in the equation as well.

I had a great time on Saturday spending time with my girlfriends watching a movie and bowling afterwards. Lots of jokes and laughter, lots of poking fun at each other and basically feeling almost stress-free (sekali sekala keluar without having to keep an eye on my charges like a hawk is so liberating!). Anxiety and fear came and went intermittently though. It was like I knew that they were there but I ignored them as much as I could because I was busy having fun. Sikit2 macam the schizophrenic professor (played by Russel Crowe) in A Beautiful Mind who knew the trick his mind was playing on him and so ignored the imaginary characters who kept following him around.

I went home that night feeling satisfied with myself and almost felt like I was on cloud nine. That was how good I felt. But the next day, wham! I sank into darkness and self-loathing. I just couldn’t lift my spirit back up. This is very hard to describe really because for someone looking in, everything seems to be in order. But from the inside, I felt like I was cloaked in a thick fog. It was like I had used up all my feel-good feelings and finally reached the edge of the cliff, slipped and plunged down at break-neck speed. Into total despair.

So the woman who went to bed smiling on Saturday night, woke up a monster on Sunday morning. I was edgy. Almost everything sparked an angry word or action out of me. I just couldn’t stop myself. At one point, I even threatened to pour hot coffee on The Vampire if he didn’t shut up (kat kopitiam ni!). My brain was buzzing like it was going crazy and dia plak tak henti2 membebel, aargh! Fortunately, I didn’t proceed with my stupidity even though he didn’t shut up heheh! At last, out of desperation to “win”, I called him “gendut”. Ya… korang nak gelak, gelak lah! It was one of my many moments of weakness and sheer selfishness.

Anywho,  my vampire kept his cool. In fact, my calling him gendut made him laugh. Probably at my immaturity. You know how laughter can be contagious kan? So in the end we ended up laughing. It didn’t help improve my spirit but it did ease the tension a little bit to make the rest of the day at the mall bearable. Man…what an emotionally exhausting day. From my point of view, there were negative vibes everywhere and on everything.

Finally, at the end of the day, when the kids were safely in bed, I let the dam flowed. Nangis lagi! I was disgusted with myself. Over every damn thing! No matter what The Vampire said, I had a negative comeback. For example…”you have 2 beautiful kids”, he said. And I said, “I have 2 beautiful kids who don’t deserve me“. Abis tu camno? Macam2 lah kata2 semangat he threw at me but I just couldn’t let myself take the credit because I genuinely didn’t feel like I deserve them. I still don’t.

Today, there are still some leftovers from yesterday’s pangs of anger and disgust. Nothing to do but wait them out, I guess.